How to Set Teaching Boundaries as a Teacher of Students with Visual Impairments
Boundaries are a hot topic right now. I think it’s because boundaries are something we have struggled with as a community for a long time. Teachers of Students with Visual Impairments and Orientation and Mobility Specialists aren’t taught how to have healthy boundaries in their careers. Instead, we are taught to obey our administrators without questioning them. Or, we are taught that we can’t trust our administrators and we have to be rude and overbearing in order to get our needs met.
Boundaries are a way to get your needs met, as well as meeting the needs of the other person. This could be someone you are in a relationship with of any sort. This includes work, my friends!
In her book, “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”, author Netra Nawaab says that the way to create a healthy relationship with another person or an entity in your life is through having healthy boundaries.
These are rules that you set in place that serve as guidelines to govern how you interact with whatever it is that you’re setting boundaries around. I like that it helps me to know how to react when I am uncomfortable, without it being personal to either the person I am interacting with or myself.
Why do we need boundaries in teaching?
Whether we like it or not, teaching inherently includes communicating with others on a regular basis. If we want to become more impactful teachers, we need to manage the expectations between ourselves and everyone we work with. We also need to manage the expectations we have of ourselves when it comes to how we approach our teaching careers.
We may find ourselves in a position to use boundaries when a boss asks us to stay late for a meeting, when a parent calls at 9PM, or when a student wants to wipe their blood on us. Each of these instances can create friction in the relationship between us as teachers and the people we work with.
If you don’t set boundaries with people, they may not understand why you become upset. Which in turn, creates a fissure in your relationship with that person.
Not creating and maintaining boundaries can also lead to burning out.
3 Styles of Boundaries
The three main styles of boundaries are ridgid, porous, and healthy. As teachers, we can find ourselves implementing ineffective styles of boundaries without realizing it until things have become overwhelming.
Rigid Teaching Boundaries
When we are practicing rigid boundaries, we are putting strict rules in place to avoid coming into a positive relationship with the other person. We are not taking into consideration the other person’s needs or values when we practice rigid teaching boundaries.
What Rigid Teaching Boundaries Look Like:
Not asking for help.
Not forming relationships with peers.
Being overly protective of your personal information.
Appearing detached from your work.
Not working with others who need support from you.
Porous Teaching Boundaries
When we are practicing porous boundaries, we are coming too far into the other person’s needs without concern for our own. Often referred to as a sponge, we are letting the other person seep into our needs.
What Porous Teaching Boundaries Look Like:
Difficulty saying “no” to the requests of others.
Volunteering for afterschool activities when you don’t want to.
Accepting disrespectful behavior from others.
Oversharing personal information.
Failing to advocate for your learners’ needs.
Fearing rejection.
Healthy Teaching Boundaries
We are practicing healthy teaching boundaries when we can listen to the other persons’ needs and still get our needs met. Practicing healthy boundaries will lead to healthy relationships with peers, students, parents, and ourselves.
What Healthy Teaching Boundaries Look Like:
Valuing your own opinions.
Waiting until you’ve calmed down to have a conversation.
Accepting when others say “no”.
Advocating for your learners with kindness and respect for others.
How Boundaries Differ from Rules
For many people, the thought of setting boundaries includes telling the other person what to do and what not to do. It creates a set of expectations that they need to follow and can create a power dynamic.
I don’t need to tell you that power dynamics at work will most likely lead to ruin.
Instead of telling other people what they can and can not do, the way to set boundaries is to let others know what you will and will not accept.
For example, I don’t tell others that they aren’t allowed to call me at 9PM. But I do let them know that I don’t answer my phone after 6PM. They are welcome to call. Their objective just won’t be met if they do so.
My Personal Teaching Boundaries That I Do Not Feel Guilty About:
So here’s the thing. Your boundaries are YOUR boundaries. I can’t tell you what boundaries to set. You’ll need to look at your life and determine your values.
My personal values revolve around the fact that I am a single mother who’s children and mental health come before work. I understand that having a thriving personal life IS what makes me a more impactful teacher. So, I hold those boundaries.
Most of the time, my boundaries are pretty strict. But when we are in a busy season with Allied or IEP season, I will make concessions.
I do not answer work communication past 6PM unless it’s a busy work season.
I do not work on the weekends that I have my children (but will work on the other weekends if I need to).
I do not give my personal phone number to parents.
I do not have teaching notifications on my phone. At all. Ever. Hard stop.
I plan my planning periods in advance (as much as humanly possible).
I will not step over our Code of Ethics or break any rules of any sort while teaching.
I do not move certain students for IEP meetings, unless absolutely necessary.
I do not approach teachers or parents in front of the students. I approach them separately and speak to them like the adult that they are. I also do not talk to other adults through students.
How do I set teaching boundaries?
Determine your personal values.
Figure out what you need in order to live within those values (that does not conflict with your contractual duties).
Make a list of all of the places you are not living within those boundaries.
Make an effort to put boundaries in place.
How do I talk to my boss or peers about my new boundaries?
Talking to anyone about your boundaries may become a Crucial Conversation. Meaning, it might become a conversation that is highly emotionally charged and the stakes are high.
When beginning a Crucial Conversation, you’ll want to follow these easy steps:
Determine what you want for yourself, the person, and your relationship.
Share your new boundary without making them wrong.
“I know in the past, we used to XYZ.”, but moving forward, we will need to XYZ New Boundary.”
If they become defensive, you can remind them that you are not trying to offend them. That you simply need to put new boundaries in place.
Overall, having healthy work/life boundaries is going to make you a better teacher. They will allow you to increase your learners’ skills without sacrificing your life.
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